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  • theeroticalchemist

Never Refuse a Gift from a Goddess

Updated: Sep 10, 2019



I closed my eyes to this world, hoping for inspiration to strike me. I squeezed my eyes tight, refusing to be deceived by the light and allowed myself to be led by the dulcet tones of my acupuncturist. I had needles sticking out of my belly, feet, and hands, so I wasn’t going anywhere anyway. Breathe. Just breathe and imagine. What else is possible?


I am immersed in water. One moment my body was lying prone on a table, punctured like a butterfly pinned behind glass. Frozen. Now I was moving my arms and legs like a newly born aquatic creature, instinctively moving through the currents. I panic, remembering that my lungs need air, and begin to struggle upwards to find the surface. Sea grasses wrap around my ankles and pull me down. I struggle and my cries release silent bubbles into the murky depths. A shadow with a silvery stripe slips through the water immediately in front of my face, and the shadow pulses.


The fish disappears into the beyond and I realize that I AM breathing. I slide my hands down my ribs and discover three small slits on each side of my ribcage, expanding and contracting with each breath. Incredible! I kick my feet and pull the water with my hands and the sea weeds release me. I bend over and grab my calves, feeling down to my ankles and discover that I have two webbed fins for feet, iridescent and at one with the mysterious water that surrounds me. I reach into the opaque water beyond my gaze and feel my hands grabbed by—what? I am pulled through the water and into the embrace of two incandescently beautiful merwomen. They dance with me in the water, drawing me into their aquatic celebration, swirling around my newborn flesh and fins as though I am as much a marvel to them as they are to me. I am in awe of the way their shapes change with the flecks of light that shine from the surface above, and how their fins glow in response to the neon pulsing lights of subterranean coral and electric fish. My hands flow through the velvet water and I allow myself to be led into their seductive revelry.




These otherworldly goddesses lead to me to a shadowy grotto where the water is cold and deep. My body contracts in fear and I close my eyes tightly against the unknown. The merwomen wrap their arms around my waist and guide me through the infinite blackness. They release their grip and push me forward. I open my eyes just as I glide into a gilded box that seems to glow with a light all its own in this dark cavern. Like Pandora and so many women that came before me, my curiosity prevailed. I lifted the magical lid and discover a red robe inside the treasure chest, placed there for me by Venus, the sea-born Goddess of love and sensuality. As I held up the garnet garment, it billowed out in the currents like a scarlet scrim upon the stage of my desire. Though simple in design, I knew that the red robe represented my sexual, sensual nature as well as my ability to serve as a sexual guide and healer/priestess for others. Imagining myself a modern goddess, I swirled the magic robe around my shoulders and allowed its soft folds to drape around my succulent body. In that moment, I become who I am, and who I have always been.


With this watery robe around my half-naked body, I am granted a vision inside a vision: I am in a tropical climate. Though the air is humid, my body is as awake as it would be on the coldest of days.


I am draped in garnet. The softness of the fabric lays close to my skin, revealing every curve and swell of my body and drapes freely from my hips to my ankles. Tied loosely around my waist, the robe billows out behind me when I walk, revealing the generous curves of my legs and the sweet honeyed place where my thighs meet. I enjoy the feeling of soft aliveness in the animal of my body. A sweet and knowing smile spreads across my lips as I stride into an open courtyard and enjoy the gazes that fall upon my welcoming landscape. I am a full woman and sex goddess both, and I enjoy being seen.



I awaken. I remember the red robe from my vision and imagine it draped around my very human flesh as I walk out of my acupuncturist's studio and into the busy, loud world that has forgotten about magic.


******************************


Gradually, I too, forgot my magic and the memory of my red robe fades to make room for to-do-lists, dinner recipes, and children's schedules. But the goddess had not forgotten me nor her sacred sensual charge for my life. My subconscious hadn't forgotten either.


The red robe found it's way to me through Amazon.com.


I initially purchased the robe for modesty’s sake. “Robe, or sarong” was on the packing list for my first Back to the Body Sensous Retreat for Women, and I didn’t own a sarong. I like to be prepared, so I began robe-shopping in earnest. There were silk robes, lacy robes, patterned robes, and animal print robes. None of them felt right. I actually picked my long ruby red robe because it seemed comfortable and as though it would cover as much of my body as possible. And the first time I wore it to the “nest” (the group area where women gathered before and after their sessions) to wait for my first session with my practitioner, I wore it tied tightly and clutched the fabric at my thighs to make sure no one saw what was beneath my robe. Other women wore short little robes that easily revealed their intimate parts and seemed totally fine with it, but that was exactly what I wanted to avoid.


I had chosen to leave my panties in my hotel room, because that was what we were here for, wasn’t it? To receive sensual bodywork? To “open” to touch? Oh god, I didn’t know. I had wanted to be here for so long (four years to be exact) but I felt so alone and so unprepared to just remove my clothes for a relative stranger and let me do things to my body. Sexy things.


Little did I know what kinds of awakenings and transformations this garnet goddess robe would bring forth in my eager, quivering body.


Stay tuned for the next chapter in my story and hear about my very first sexological bodywork session with Ondra Veltrusky.



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